I was experiencing a low moment today. I found myself dwelling, coming up with all the possibilities that could be the cause of my fading spirit. Maybe it's the patient that yelled at me today, maybe it's being away from home for so long or maybe it's just PMS.
I have this dark cloud over my head like a blanket of despair thrown over me for no good reason and all my negative experiences creep up to the front of my mind.
My mother always taught me to cry, to let it out but I feel myself hold it together. As if having no real justification for my momentary sorrow doesn't allow me to be sad.
In an attempt to find some familiarity, I poured my tea, found a quite space and decided to write and all i could come up with was a very dull uneventful diary entry of my temporary sulk.
"I asked Dr Google"
So I turned to the web.."ways to get yourself out of a funk" and I was inundated with lifestyle changes, uplifting diets and positive thinking and all it left me feeling was "I don't have time for that". Because inevitably I know I will wake up tomorrow and I will be fine. I'm not in some deep life long rut, I just had a shitty day and am not feeling so positive and I want to lift my mood.
Eventually I got sick of hearing my own miserable tangents and it clicked. If I was having a conversation with a friend that was expressing the same dull moment I would know just what to say. I would make them laugh, call them and idiot and remind them of all the ways they are great, would show them the sun rise after this one grey day.
That's my trick. We are always so ready to dish out advice and support but how often do we really take it from our selfs? Often times the words we have for a friends are words of tremendous clarity as we aren't the one being bogged down at that point in time.
So stick your head out of your grey cloud take a deep breath and feel the warmth of the sun. I know it's not always that easy, but temporarily it releases the pressure.
Be your own best friend, detach yourself from the situations and look at it from an outsiders perspective. Pep talk yourself out of it and call yourself an idiot, and if just the fact that you are now talking to yourself doesn't make you giggle maybe your own profound words of clarity will.
Hope you're feeling better. I was feeling a bit like this earlier in the week - kind of still finding my way out of it. I think it's also important to remember that it's OK to feel this way and just experience it in the moment rather than trying to find ways to avoid the discomfort of feeling 'down'. And hopefully when the time is right we will naturally move through it and out the other side :-)
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